How to Avoid Being Seen as an Enemy or Irrelevant to Your Team

In a fraction of a second, people have decided how they see you—as a friend, enemy, or irrelevant.

I call these buckets.

When you’re an established team member who’s new to a leadership position, the irrelevant bucket is particularly challenging because you have to prove yourself.

How can you move from the enemy or irrelevant bucket to the friend bucket? 

Start with Conversation

Now that you’re in your new position, you likely have ideas you’d like to implement that will shake things up a bit.

Remember—your decisions affect your team’s livelihood. Are you going to add value or throw in a monkey wrench and make their jobs harder?

So, before you do anything, you might want to do a pulse check on your idea and game plan to gain buy in from your team.

How can you do this?

Schedule one-on-one time with your team members. 

Acknowledge the experience that they bring to the table. 

Tell them your idea, ask for their input, and be open to their feedback. Carefully consider their suggestions because there could be viewpoints you hadn’t considered or information you didn’t know about.

When you include your team on your ideas and seek for feedback, this helps to build trust and, by virtue, support.

Adjust Your Communication Style 

In times of stress and pressure, it’s natural to revert to our natural communication style because it’s what we’re comfortable with and it’s the way we’ve communicated most of our lives.

The tone you use, the speed at which you talk, the words you use are all going to influence your team members to place you in one of the three buckets.

Since we’re trying to stay out of the enemy and irrelevant buckets and get in or stay in the friend bucket, get a sense of how your team prefers to communicate—what do they prefer to talk about? What’s the speed at which they make decisions? How do they make decisions?

When needed, adjust your communication style to your team’s style in order to get in and stay in the friend bucket.

Always Be Learning

One of the biggest mistakes I see new leaders often make, especially if it’s their first time as a leader, is that they rely on the skills, confidence, and abilities that got them to this position. 

New leaders often feel that they need to have all the answers, and yet they don’t. 

In other words, they weren’t prepared by their organization to lead and manage a team.

You don’t need to be a superhero. It’s okay to admit when you don’t know and then use the collective experiences and skills of your team to find solutions.

You’ll have more success in your new role if prepare to lead your team by being empathetic, understand the culture that already exists, and communicate in a way that your team is comfortable with. 

Based on an excerpt from IT’S PERSONAL, NOT BUSINESS podcast, Episode 7.